You are falling, falling, falling…..and then u wake up. This is a very common dream and is said to symbolize insecurities and anxiety. Something in ur life is essentially out of control and there is nothing u can do to stop it. Another interpretation is that u hav a sense of failure abt something. Maybe u r not doing well in ur classes or at work and are afraid u r going to be expelled or fired. Again, u feel that u can’t control the situation.
With that note let me start my second story…..
Chapter 1-A dull start.
Arjun was the star player in the game. He had scored the maximum points for his team. There was a huge roaring among the crowds. Well he was a part of the basket ball team and it was the final match in the district between his college and their arch rivals’ national college, Chennai. They were going smoothly towards victory. When, suddenly arjun was hit in his back that he fell down. He was falling, falling, falling….he didn’t seem to stop..
Thud!!!
“Ouch” he groaned, he had hit the ground, well it wasn’t the basketball ground in which he had fallen. The ground here was smooth. He slowly blinked his eyes open. He was home, he had been dreaming all this while. The talking clock in his room shouted ‘the time is 7’o clock am’. He sat upright on the floor. He stared back again to the clock. Indeed the time was 7’o clock. O mi god. He had slept a straight 12 hours. He was doomed. He had to report for practice in his college at 7:30 am. And here he was jus getting up. He rushed to brush his teeth and had a quick shower. The time now was 7:15 am. He rushed out of the house, while his mother called back at him to eat breakfast. He replied back he had no time, and rushed on his bike. If their was a meager traffic he cud make it on time. The college was a lousy 20 minutes travel from home. He drove like a mad man, inviting accusing glares from the other vehicle goers on the road.
But indeed all his efforts were in vain. He reached college at 7:40 am .His friend naveen seshadari the nerdy friend of his was sitting in the bench in the play ground engrossed in a management book and waiting for him. That was the usual routine for both of them, naveen also comes early to college to give company to arjun when he was engaged in practice and he would be catching up on some study notes which his usual study timetable couldn’t accommodate. naveen was not a sports geek, to him what mattered was marks, marks, and more marks. He will not compromise anything for it. But arjun was the exact opposite to him. How these guys ended up as friends is god’s own mystery.
Naveen waved up to him with a ‘hey man, u r late today. Be prepared to get screwed’. Arjun nodded back. The coach looked at him accusingly, and penalized him to run 5 rounds around the entire campus and come back to practice. Well the day was getting worse for arjun. He ran, hopped, and walked the entire 5 rounds around the campus. He reached back sweating like a pig. He had missed most of the practice, so it was no use joining the others in practice. So the coach instructed him to do push ups. Cursing the coach under his breath he went to do push ups.
Life was on a rough path for him. All with the stuff to be done in college if u r in the final year, he was a b.com student. And preparing for CAT exams for getting an MBA seat in a prestigious institute which was just around the corner in the coming week, and moreover playing his favorite sport basket ball, yearning to add his name to the college history along with other previous players on winning the district match for the college which was in the beginning of the next month.
He was almost exhausted doing push ups when a car entered the campus. It stopped next to naveen in the playground, and the door opened. A pair of wonderful feet well not just wonderful feet it was a woman’s feet was all arjun could see doing his push ups. He was half way through his push ups, when he strained his neck to look up. He almost tumbled and hit the ground. Another door opened on the other side and a much older guy got down and their department head came to see them and asked naveen to escort the girl somewhere, arjun couldn’t hear everything clearly, once the hod went and the girl saw the car back out the campus, naveen signaled to arjun to reach class, and walked away with her. arjun yearned to be in naveen’s place, well he was dreaming walking beside the girl when the coach’s voice brought him to reality. The coach called him to sign in for the final match. He signed and the coach called it a day and dispersed them. Arjun took a quick shower and rushed back to class.
He caught up with naveen, who said that he took the girl to the department. Before he could enquire more professor gupta entered the class. It was his most dreaded period ‘performance management’. Which they lovingly called as ‘pm’ or ‘pure monotony’. The professor warned them to be ready with the projects by the end of the week. Arjun, naveen, swetha, and anu were in their group. They were short of one member, but the professor asked them to proceed with their projects with 4 members itself. Their project was about employee morale. The professor proceeded with his lesson when they were interrupted by a sweet voice saying “excuse me”. They all looked towards the door.
Chapter2-meeting deepthi.
It was the same girl they saw in the morning. Professor gupta said “welcome, ms.deepthi” and invited her into class and introduced her to the class as a new student who had transferred from a Bangalore college and has come here to do her final year with them as her father got transferred. The professor asked everyone to help her to catch up with what she had missed and asked her to take a seat; she took the seat in the front row.
All this while arjun had his heart in his mouth, his mouth was slightly hanging open. When swetha sitting next to him nudged him to stop staring at the new girl like that. He couldn’t concentrate for the next half hour of professor gupta’s class. He was looking at the front row. Now he saw her better when she entered class she had a cute heart shaped face. And didn’t wear much make up. But still she looked cute. Now as she sat down he could see only the back of her head. She had lovely hair which she held it up in a pony tail.
At the end of the class, professor gupta called out anu to meet him after class. When anu went to meet him, professor gupta said that they could include deepthi in their project and offer her all kinds of help. When anu said this to her team members on returning to class, arjun was overjoyed, and made swetha and anu to promise that they would befriend deepthi and invite her to have lunch with them. As they found out she wasn’t keen on talking to guys and was a bit shy. Swetha commented something had come into arjun from the moment he saw deepthi. They didn’t have a chance to catch up with deepthi as they were put through 2 major classes one after the other after the ‘pm’ class. Finally, the much awaited break for lunch came.
Swetha and anu went up to deepthi to introduce themselves, and invite her to lunch and to discuss about their projects. Deepthi said she was glad for their company, as she did not know absolutely anything of this place, and it was so different from her college in banglore which was a girl’s college. And being studied in a convent and a girl’s college throughout her life, she was a bit worried about mingling with the guys around her. swetha and anu assured her that the guys wont gobble her up, and added silently most importantly arjun will not gobble her up.
They accompanied her to the cafeteria where the naveen and arjun had caught their usual place but now with an extra chair. Depthi was introduced to them, and arjun did stammer a bit, seeing her so close made him dumbstruck. She chose to sit between swetha and anu, and said that she had brought her lunch from home, as her mother thought that she would not get adjusted to the canteen food. She observed that the others around her were used to the canteen food and they said they occasionally did bring food from home. Naveen, swetha and anu started rating the canteen food and how good they were. And how one must be prepared for a tug of war match with chapattis. This made deepthi laugh, and she looked even cuter. And they went about their stupid projects, and warned about the professors whom she must dread and topped the list was professor gupta, as they said he may be nice, but underneath he was a monster in himself. They also told her about the other professors whose lectures she will enjoy or dread and the grading system here.
Arjun was silent all this while, except observing all the words spoken by deepthi, when deepthi asked others if he was always so quite, the others made a funny chuckle and arjun himself gave deepthi a silly grin. He gathered from her that her father was the GM of zine technologies. And has been transferred here, and the guy who came in the morning was her brother. Then swetha asked her if she wanted to go to most fun filled place in college. The guys started to groan. Deepthi asked wat cud be more fun then the cafeteria, wen anu replied the girls rest room was more fun and they wud escort her there. The guys started to protest when swetha asked them to go to class and they wud meet them there, and the next minute all 3 girls disappeared. Naveen and arjun took their bags and walked towards the comp lab as they had today two sessions of InfoTech. Naveen shoved arjun playfully with a remark that his hormones were working overtime. Arjun decided to ignore the remark. By the time professor mehra entered class the girls had reached the class and was giggling uncontrollably. And when naveen asked them wat they were laughing for, they replied it was a girl’s thing. When arjun and naveen stared at each other with a sigh. This did happen always with them, when the girls shared a private joke; they were left out as usual.
At last the two hour session ended, when deepthi said that she wud come to swetha’s house and it was near her house. When arjun jumped in saying he too will come to swetha’s house as he had to look through some of her notes or something, saying his house was also near swetha’s house. When swetha glared at him knowingly understanding the reason why he decided to drop at her house, it wasn’t typical pf him. When naveen commented something really had gotten into him a little loud, that arjun hit him. And then naveen and anu dispersed saying they had their charted accountancy classes in the evening. While the other three decided to meet at swetha’s house in an hour.
Chapter 3- dreaded CAT exams
From the visit to swetha’s house arjun had learnt that deepthi was also planning to do MBA and was appearing in the CAT exams the day after. So apart from copying the class notes which was helped by swetha and him, she also enquired about the exam venue, and how to reach there from home. She had also asked them why they weren’t doing CA like naveen and anu. To which he replied, he didn’t have the time all with the basket ball practice. That was when she said indeed she saw him that morning sweating out there in the ground. And said that her brother was also a state basket player, enquired him whether he was playing for the state and all that. While swetha said that she did not do CA as it was too heavy for her brain, and there was indeed no need for it as her family would marry her off to some eligible bachelor by the end of the year and only for her wish was she allowed to write the CAT exam, she did not build any hopes on her futher studies and this mention of marriage brought astonishment to deepthi’s face, when she asked swetha if she did not regret the decision of her parents, to which swetha shrugged that there wasn’t a choice for her except if she gets good marks in her CAT.
Arjun on reaching home was recalling all these events, deepthi was again fetched by the car that dropped her in swetha’s home, as for him his house was behind swetha’s so he walked back. When deepthi leaved, swetha warned arjun to watch his step, as deepthi’s brother was too possessive of her, and indeed he was a big man for arjun to handle. He had noticed that and also that deepthi did not give much information about her.
He dreamt of her when he at last fell asleep, he had 7:30 practice again tomorrow, and naveen had made him promise that they would do the sample CAT exam papers in college. The next day was usual; fortunately he reached college on time, except that now naveen was missing, when he messaged naveen he got the reply that he was down with high fever and asked him to listen intently to all classes as he needed to help him the next day. He saw deepthi had also come early, to meet some professor and complete her registration process. He waved at her with a silly lop sided grin, as she looked beautiful sitting in the bench. She also waved back at him and smiled.
Now arjun was muttering to himself not to behave like a school kid who had seen his first crush, a smile sent a wave through him. He was uprooted to the place staring at her, the coach’s voice brought him to his senses that he was standing like an idiot in the same place for almost 5 minutes, and still she was smiling at him. He traced his step back to the ground, when the coach snarled at him whether he was looking for a auspicious time to enter the ground for practice, and warned him that the final match was only 3 weeks away, and he mustn’t loose his focus as the match was crucial.
He finished practice and took a quick shower and came to the bench where deepthi was sitting and drooped on the space next to her, trying to be casual all this time, but he could hear in his heart beating in his ears. He asked her how she was today and they sat in silence for a few minutes, when the campus around them filled with students, all the heads of the students were immersed in the books, as they all were seriously preparing for the CAT exam tomorrow. Deepthi suggested maybe they should also do the same, and arjun nodded and took out the sample question papers, and handed to her. She took it from him, their hands brushed in the movement, and arjun felt electric sparks in him the movement her hand brushed against him, he told himself not to behave like a silly kid, but he could not control himself. He was deep in thought when deepthi called him again “arjun”, he shrugged back to reality and asked her what she was saying, while she said whether they cud go to class and discuss the papers. To which he nodded weakly, and got on his feet.
As they were going towards the class, they saw swetha approaching and waited for her to join them. The walked into class together and were informed that their first session was free as the professor was absent. This news was greeted with joy among the students. When they were on the point of completing the discussion of the 1st paper, anu came almost running into the class, and slowed down when she saw no professor in the class, and waved to them and came to sit next to deepthi. She said she got held up in her CA class. They continued to discuss the papers, but arjun wasn’t much interested in it, and was either staring at deepthi or engrossed in his own thoughts. That he had to be brought back to reality by anu’s nudges to concentrate, as this was the most important thing in life.
Finally the day ended with everyone getting excited about the exam tomorrow, for which arjun grunted as it was only an exam. But swetha said it was gonna decide everyone’s life and warned him not to take it lightly to which he did not agree. He then took leave from the girls and had planned to leave to naveen’s place. On reaching naveen’s place, one look at naveen told him he might not make it tomorrow. So arjun started pacifying the near hysterical naveen that it was just an exam for which he had started preparing a long while ago, unlike him. He need not worry. But naveen was not consoled, but took the tablets and sat down to study. Many a time, he caught arjun either unaware or dreaming and not concentrating on his books. He warned him, that an MBA degree was a must in his life, and that he mustn’t lose it by being careless. He also warned him that his hormones chose the wrong time to over work. Arjun protested that it wasn’t his hormones, but he was deeply moved by deepthi, that he might fall for her.
Naveen went to his all marks-no games lecture, and how love brings failure to a person, and it did not make sense, that he did not know much about deepthi, how cud he fall for her. And went to how his parents trusted him, he has got to earn a name for himself and not let them down. Arjun listened to everything with a grunt, and went back to study. He then left naveen’s place, in the night to go home and promised him he will go and revise everything he had studied. And on reaching home he went to his room and hit the covers without even changing his clothes.
The day dawned brightly, sun rays filled arjun’s room through his small window. He got up with an effort, he thought maybe he will go through his notes, but decided against it and went to get ready for the exam. When he reached the venue, everyone was already there. He saw all 4 of them engrossed in a book and went over to meet them. Naveen was a bit pale, but he looked determined. Anu was shivering. Swetha was pacifying everyone that it was after all an exam for which they have prepared all these days. Deepthi did not speak all this while, but looked a bit put off by something. As for arjun, he was completely and totally blank; he did not feel anything that he was going to write an important exam. All this while he had not bothered about the exam, but now his friends before him, made him feel uneasy he felt a sickening feeling in his stomach that he will not be able to make it. Suddenly he saw his future loom in the dark.
The bell rang indicating them to move towards their classes. Only he, deepthi and anu were in the same class the others were separated. He had pleaded to anu to help him in the exam. But anu hesitated saying that it wud be totally wrong, and did he think of the consequences if they got caught. He assured her they won’t get caught and asked her to help him, she said half heartedly that she wud try her best. They entered the class and took their respective seats. Anu was sitting adjacent to arjun. Once the papers were given, arjun saw anu asking him something, which he cud not make out. Then himself decided that she wud be asking him if he was sure that he wanted to do this that is to copy. Then he nodded to her indicating a yes. The next three hours ticked away slowly, and anu had helped him with almost all the questions as they were multiple choice questions and they had already decided the gestures for indicating the options-‘a’, ‘b’, ‘c’, and ‘d’. The final bell rang and they dispersed out.
He went to thank anu and pleaded her not to mention his unfair practice to deepthi. When anu again asked him, whether he got set 3, to which arjun blinked. Anu told him I asked before starting to write and u said yes. With haste arjun removed his question paper from his bag. He was doomed. It was set 2 and well the world was spinning around him now. Anu looked at him with sympathy not knowing what to do. The others came around discussing the paper saying that it was not a very bad paper but a standard one. Arjun was still engrossed in his misery that he did not see deepthi pat him and ask wat was wrong and how was the paper. It was then that the others turned to look at him, that he was on the verge of tears, before naveen came near him to ask him something. He fled from the place to the parking, to his bike and rushed back home.
Naveen ran after him, and went to his home. He was in a state of complete chaos when naveen saw him. Naveen asked him wat went wrong, when he said that he had completely screwed his MBA admission seat and said about the exam and all the different sets which he did not know. He did not have the courage now to face his parents; he asked naveen why everything was happening to him alone. Naveen wanted to shout at him, saying that it was his own entire fault. But he decided against it as this wasn’t the time and he had to deal into the current problems like facing his parents, deciding his future. So naveen tried to console him saying that he would not have done that bad as he was imagining, he will get through it. But he had no hope. naveen then asked him to go and rest as he looked so dreadful now. Naveen said that everything will be alright and asked him to forget about the entire incident and come to college the next day and left him. He had a dreamless sleep today.
Chapter 4 – is Arjun a big time loser?
Well Arjun dreaded to face his friends the next day. When he dropped in class after his basket ball practice, he was not welcome to class that day by his friends except Naveen. Deepthi did not heed his arrival and pretended as if he ceased to exist. This brought a mental blow to arjun. Later, he heard from Naveen that Anu had indeed spilled the beans to Swetha and Deepthi. At lunch,everything around him turned hostile, every one absorbed their meal in silence. Even the other students around them commented on how quite their group has become, which was usually playing some prank or other in the cafeteria. One of the guys in his basket ball team rushed to the table where Arjun was sitting.
The guy asked Arjun to hurriedly change to his tracks, as the coach had decided to have a selection game for the final match and it included him also in the last minute as he wasn’t nowadays concentrating much on the game. This was another blow to Arjun, as he always took for granted, he would be in the team as he was good at it, and the coach never asked him to play in the selection match so far except in the first year of course. So he slid low in his seats, at last all the others around him asked him to go and change and get ready. He got unsteadily on his feet, glanced around everyone and moved towards the change room.
He muttered hard under his breath that he would definitely get selected. He jogged along with everyone around the ground. The coach blew his whistle to stop them running, and asked them to take sides and form two teams. Then he signaled the match to begin. It was a hard game. Till almost the half game, Arjun had not scored a ball yet. Every time he tried to focus his CAT exam came in front of him and the accusing look that Deepthi gave him today when he entered class. He was losing complete concentration. He tried really hard. He had to get selected, if his academic scores were going to blow, at least he had to make a career out of sports. The final match was important.
He then heard his 4 friends cheer at him. He heard Naveen’s encouraging yell, not so typical of the nerd Naveen was. He turned around to see them on the stands. Swetha, Anu and Deepthi were cheering for him. Seeing Deepthi cheer for him, made all his energy bubble up. He was grateful that his friends were here after all he had done, even though the coach disapproved of their cheers. He then focused on the basket, and dived to get the ball from the competing team member, and headed to the basket, and with a little push from his hand, the ball was in the air. It landed on the rim of the basket, circling, circling, and circling at last it fell in the basket. There were yelps of joy from his friends. The coach nodded disapprovingly at their yells.
At the end of the game he had almost scored 4 goals and the coach said he would have to practice more to be still on the team, and increased his practice hours. He had to give his full concentration to the game, if he wanted the final match he warned. Arjun then walked back towards his friends. They were cheering and congratulating him. He felt proud to have them as his friends. Even Deepthi, suggested they could all do with a treat, after all the stress the few days. She invited everyone home, and also said they could discuss their projects on ‘employee morale’. They could choose the company in which Deepthi’s father was working for it. They all agreed and said they would all meet Deepthi in 3 hours.
Those 3 hours felt like a life time for Arjun. He had almost changed 3 to 4 shirts. Calling Naveen from time to time and asking him suggestions on what to wear and stuff like that. Naveen got frustrated and blasted him not to behave like a kid. It was just a treat and Deepthi had not called them for their engagement party. Well, wait what engagement party; Deepthi did not even know Arjun was in love with her!! Shouldn’t that be the first move?
Well this made Arjun think. What if she rejects him? What if she thinks he is a big time loser? He can’t face a rejection. He was too fragile to accept it. He then thought sooner or later, he got to choose. He got to ask her. But still he was thinking of taking the easy way out. He then decided. He will ask her out today at her house.
He reached her house on time. He was let in by her father. A very strict looking man he was. He did not approve of having guests at home. When Deepthi introduced all 4 of them to her father, He through a look of disapproval at Arjun, when she said he was a basket ball player. He indeed liked Naveen more, when he heard he was a good student and doing CA. he said he liked boys, who were responsible towards their life. He did not approve of those people, who did nothing towards academics, but wasted their time playing sports.
Arjun sulked at this remark throughout the evening. When they were leaving home, Deepthi said she was sorry for what her father said. She asked him, if he would be free the next day. They could go somewhere alone, to make up for what her father said. She said she really felt sorry for him. When she was saying all this, her father came in. He warned Arjun to keep his distance from her; he said she would not go out with Arjun tomorrow. Whatever he said about guys being responsible, Arjun deserved it and there was no need for Deepthi to make up to Arjun for what he said. He also added that he did not want a loser like Arjun to hang out with his daughter.
Well, so much for Arjun’s plan to ask deepthi out. Now when she herself was willing to come out with him, her father fired them back. He knew now, it was going to be a tough time facing Deepthi. For the next few days, he kept his distance from her. Even when she tried to come and talk to him. He gave one excuse or the other, saying he was busy. Nowadays, he found himself sleeping in class, after the long hours of basket ball practice. More often he felt himself dreaming of falling. Very often, he jerked awake in class, after sleeping. He was sent out many times to wash his face for sleeping in class.
Thus he was growing insecurities and anxiety to a great extent. His life was totally out of control. He started behaving in an immature way. He often frowned in class. He seldom hanged out with his friends. He shouted at them most of the time, when they tried to help him. He was becoming scared of his life that he could not be in any persons company.