Pages from the Zany - F I L E S

Well this isn’t fiction…… it isn’t a story, I can probably call this is how my life would end up as.

“The looks of Rahul dravid, the charm of shah rukh khan, voice of S.P.B or Hariharan, a writing skill like chetan baghat and probably the brains of Vishwanathan anand is what would make my ideal guy” she often told her friends. But when she met ‘A’ who had a heart like none other, nothing else mattered.

MR.RIGHT what was?

Well in arranged marriages, I’ve so far seen of my cousins. They were given 30 golden minutes to decide their own future! What a scary thought!

Well, in school and colleges, we used to discuss how our respective Mr. Right’s would have to be. All the girls would get together at break or at the foyer where prayer was conducted in the early morning hours before classes and talk what not! Topping all discussions was this thing about Mr. Right, and then to the gossip on how our parents would react to a guy of different caste/creed/religion blah blah blah…..

Thinking back at how I defined Mr. Right, I can now say that I stressed too much on physical traits….. I had a million conditions, including some about the guy’s name – it should be something like karthik, arjun, aravind, or aadhi…. Also which sun sign he must belong to – Taurus or Scorpio or Libra or Pisces was the favored ones by me. I wanted the guy’s name to be pleasing to my ears, and that it should sound good, nice along with my name…. though those mentioned above doesn’t that much good along with my name ‘vidya’….. Still can’t define what that pleasing meant.

My first and foremost condition was that he must sport a clean shaven look – this was the prior 1 requirement. This was very different from the likes of my friends. Who thought moustaches and beards were a sign of manliness!!!! Though at times I do like the unshaven look, u know the rugged look, or the cowboy look. But only for a certain period. If the rugged look is there for more than a certain period, then he would give me an impression of a ‘devdas’ or a man filled with sorrow. I somehow always found clean shaven guys look cuter. I was (and still am) crazy about the likes of Rahul dravid, Shah rukh khan, Aamir khan, Madhavan, and lastly and recently upen patel etc. who had whatsoever no hair on their faces. They looked as cute as ever. Thus this deepened my desire against moustache guys.

The next condition was that, he must have wavy hair. I go crazy over soft smooth hairdos. My guy must sport this healthy hair which must tempt me to run my fingers through it and tousle it fondly. When shampooed, the hair must shine and glow; it is a huge turn on to me.

The next condition is that he must have this athletic build – he must be a little more than lean. Well also he must be a bit chubby, that I can punch his cheeks and he must be well as I said athletic build, he must’ve a strong body – but here to I don’t mean flexing up muscles like fighters, I hate muscles bulging out of their hands. Overall he must be normal like a man which would make me vulnerable and make me melt in his arms (that’s what a guy is supposed to do right).

The next condition is firm and broad shoulders, as I already stated it mustn’t bulge out with muscles. It must be firm enough to hold me back and be able to console me in my bad times. It should provide me full comfort and complete protection.

Also, he must have a great, deep, husky, awesome voice which is the greatest weakness over me. I completely melt hearing a deep baritone voice. All my crushes have great voices, actually that was the primary reason why they were my crushes!!! He must be able to sing and be able to play a musical instrument preferably a flue or guitar. This maybe what I call romantic.

The guy must be a doctor or an architect (I don’t know y I stated this condition, maybe because I like their line of work).he must either construct buildings or destruct diseases. But he must not be from the commerce field. (Well this condition may change later).

He must either play basketball, football or cricket. I would love to have a small basket ball court in my house. Even though, I don’t know to play the game. Maybe if my guy knows he would teach me some day.

He must be just 2 or 3 years older to me, not more than that. He must have a perfect dressing sense, which is perfect for every occasion.

Well he must be good in drawing and painting. As a painter myself, I would like company if at times, my mood obliges and makes me paint.

His eyes must be my greatest attraction. I always prefer these jet black eyes, and he must emote with his eyes, there must be a glint or a spark in his eyes.

Well the most important condition, our heights should match each other. I’m just 5’2 or 5’3 so think yourself of the suitable height.

Well, when I told this whole list of conditions to my friends. The saw me with wide eyes, and said that I’m expecting a bit too much from life. Whatsoever, these were my expectations for my perfect Mr. Right.

Well…well….

I’m sure now seeing the faces of my friends’ reality would definitely dawn on me in 3 – 4 years. My parents would fix my marriage with some eligible bachelor. Let us assume that this eligible bachelor is Mr. A, who (no prizes for guessing) would just match a meager amount of my expectations.

Well how exactly would be my Mr. Right turn out?

Let us take a journey into my future imagination that would or would not happen in 3 – 4 years up the lane.

Mr. .Right how it would turn out

Well, the name won’t be one that I won’t like, it won’t be old fashioned or traditional, it may not just suit my taste. And I would decide that I would name one of my sons’ one of those names and make the life of another girl like me better!!!

As for the moustache, it would turn out to be his important asset in his life, he would infact spend a lot of time grooming it as if, it were a prized possession. He would have grown it so well, that it would fill half his face. But then maybe seriously he couldn’t afford to shave it as it may attribute to half his weight – (this may attribute to how athletic build he is!!!).

He maybe just half the size along my X – axis or maybe even lesser, that we may look like laurel and hardy in our wedding, and everyone who came would say to me that, my supreme ‘responsibilty’ was to make him put on some weight. As if I would be waiting for the responsibility to be given! But, I would be modest in saying that I would do a commendable job of it, that within 6 months of our marriage his pants would become tighter, so much for my culinary skills! (Which I suppose would have to start learning within these 3 – 4 years to face any such challenges if it may arise).

Well. As for the wavy hair part, it would resemble one of my painting brushes which have not been washed for 6 months!!!............I expected my guy to sing, he would sing, infact he would be very good at it that I make sure, he did not even hum with the CD playing. His voice would become soo emotional when he sings that it would look like I was torturing him day in and day out!!

Well, as or the profession – he would a software engineer who is a workaholic, working for almost 20 hrs a day, that I would be left in my house talking to the walls all day long.

As far as my craze to basketball and cricket is concerned, he would turn out to be a person who only jogs and walk in the tread mill that to it would be after so much compulsion from me!!!

And as far as his painting skills, he would be a person who I will make sure that he does not come near my painting materials. Who knows, he might even mistake my colors tubes to be tooth paste!!! And his eyes do speak, but through a thick frame of glasses.

But, how will I end up marrying such a guy with all my conditions.

How would he have managed to sweep me of my feet that have to be known to him?

It maybe, because of his rarer traits. He would have been a guy who does not smoke or drink even for social reasons. He would have had a commendable sense of humor. He would have been a patient listener, nodding to all the crap I talk and torture people. He would be a person, who seldom gets angry, and it would be me doing all the rattling at home, he would let me blow off my steam. He would have been a wonderful mind reader; he would know what I am thinking at one time and what I need.

Well what I’m trying to say that is that I may compromise on the physical qualities but definitely not the mental qualities. Then he would not be my Mr. Right but my Mr. Rightest!!!